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7 Principles Emotional-Social Well Being Your Emotional Intelligence


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7 Principles Emotional-Social Well Being

Your Emotional Intelligence


By Katta Mapes, Your Psycho-Spiritual Guide and Xplorer


“Emotional Intelligence integrates both Intrapersonal Intelligence

and Interpersonal Intelligence”


Katta Mapes


We all want to feel happy and balanced within ourselves and in our relationships with others, right? Your emotional and social well-being has several parts or principles to it. In each of these parts you may find yourself to be well skilled or in need of improvement. Let’s dive into each of these seven principles.


Look Within for the First Three Principles


1. KNOW YOURSELF

You have been with yourself every day of your life so you would think that you would know yourself pretty well, perhaps. Do you know what you think, feel, need and want? Some people are very sure of themselves because they know these things exactly and some are not.


a. What do you think?

What are your opinions and beliefs? This can be as simple as what you prefer to eat for dinner. Or as complex as your beliefs about life and the afterlife. What you think in any situation will be your guide to making decisions and solving problems in your life. Your thoughts are colored by your perceptions that develop from your self-view and world-view.


b. What do you feel?

Generally your thoughts lead to your emotions. Loving and positive thoughts lead to feeling content. Mean, mad thoughts lead to angry and hateful emotions. Thinking about your worries and difficulties can lead to emotions of anxiety and depression. Some say that our emotions are gifts that let us know when something is wrong. They believe that, for example, anger about abuse of animals can motivate a person to take action to prevent abuse.


Your emotions also have an effect on your physical body through the mind-body connection that we cannot override. Constant feelings of anger, anxiety or depression can affect both your mental and physical health.


c. What do you need?

We all have common needs for survival basics of water, food, shelter and feeling that we belong. In the 1940s psychologist Abraham Maslow studied our needs and created a hierarchy of needs ranging from survival, safety and social needs up to our need to be respected and, finally, to the need for having a sense of fulfillment and purpose.


d. What do you want?

While we all have a need for food you may have a want to eat pizza, for example. Our wants develop and change as we mature.


Knowing yourself also about your body. Through experience you learn what helps and what hurts your body, including foods and environments. You may know your rhythms – are you a “night person” or a “day person”? How do the seasons affect your physical and mental well-being?


Then there is your personality. Probably the most helpful aspect of your personality is to know whether you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. These aspects run along a spectrum of the ways that you energize and center yourself – with others or having alone time.


2. Accepting Yourself

Knowing yourself leads to accepting yourself. It also helps to know that there is no one else on earth who is exactly like you. You are unique! While someone else may resemble your appearance there is no one who thinks or acts just like you. No one has exactly your personality, education and experience.


Sure there are some things you can change about yourself, and some you cannot change. The latter is what you can choose to accept. Accepting yourself as you are helps to nourish your self-confidence. When others are mean to you remember that each of you are unique. No one matters any more or any less than you. Even when another cannot accept you, you can still choose to accept yourself.


3. Managing Yourself

When you know that you are a “day person” for example you know that working during an overnight shift will not work for you. Skillful self-management grows out of your knowing and accepting yourself.


Look at Your Relationships with Others for the Last Four Principles


4. Connecting With Others

Making and keeping friends comes very easy to some people and is harder for others. When you know yourself and accept yourself you connect with others with ease. You can also deal with rejection from others more easily. Self-management skills you can learn include how to overcome shyness, how to communicate effectively and how to allow for more intimacy in your life. How many self-help and self-improvement books and programs are there?


5. Communicating With Others

The two most basic elements of communication are sending a message and receiving a message leading to mutual understanding. We send messages in writing, talking. art and with nonverbal cues. Healthy communication with others allows you to share what you think, feel, need, and want (from knowing yourself). Receiving a message comes from reading, listening, observing art work and nonverbal cues.


The ultimate goal of communicating with others is understanding. Even civil discourse calls for understanding even if you don’t agree.


6. Cooperating With Others

In your family, at work and in other situations you will find that you must collaborate with others for a shared goal. Just like dancing with a partner there are times when you lead and times when you follow. The better you are at connecting and communicating with others the better you will be in cooperating with others. Cooperating requires sharing ideas, goals and common ground.


7. Handing Conflicts with Others

Even in the most cooperative relationships conflicts arise when your beliefs, feelings, needs and wants are not shared with someone else. Knowing what you will give and what you need to take are essential in negotiating a mutual agreement. Then there is always the fall back, “We can agree to disagree.” Your self-awareness and self-acceptance will help you know, as in the Kenny Rogers song, The Gambler:


“You got to know when to hold 'em Know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away And know when to run”


Now that you know the seven principles for emotional and social well-being you get to know yourself by assessing how well you do in each of these seven principles. Then you can explore ways to build those areas that need strengthening.



P.S. In case you are wondering, Psycho-Spirituality is a blend of psychology and spirituality.


AWAKEN – become more aware

&

DISCOVER – explore all of who you are ~ human and soul


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